Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
