that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
