Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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