im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
