I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
