Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
