i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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