I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
