i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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