I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
