I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
