i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
