I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
