Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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