How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
