I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
