PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
