I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
