she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
