I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think your dad took our porno
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize