Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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