you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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