That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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