I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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