dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
