Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
