can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
