I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
