he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
