I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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