Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
