I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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