I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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