hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
