I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
