I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
