OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
