Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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