I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
