You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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