her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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