I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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