He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
