4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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