It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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