This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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