he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
