He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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