i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize