...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
