Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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