is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
