I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
