I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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