I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
