redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
