she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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