Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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