I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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