This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize