Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
